


Sure is for people who don't love enough.

by Lalalaartje



Category: Ed Sheeran (Musician), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Also Ellie is cute, I'm sorry for letting this happen, M/M, So yeah, and Niall & Ed, and it's a lot of guys being idiots, but in the end they're just fools in love, but it still did, can't find a decent ship name for them, i guess, imagine me and you - AU, it's Nouis, it's out there now, it's sad but then it's not, so that makes it okay, this is the result of me being converted to a Niall & Ed shipper
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-28
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-08-18 08:11:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8155253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lalalaartje/pseuds/Lalalaartje
Summary: “So you do? Love him, I mean?” Louis asked finally and Niall hated the crack in his voice. The crack that only appeared when he was trying really hard not to cry.“No?” Louis quirked an eyebrow and Niall couldn’t help the small smile tugging on his lips. “Maybe? I dunno Lou! I like him, yeah, a lot. And we’ve… we’ve got this click and I suppose, if things were different, we might have already been dating.” Niall sighed, rubbing his face with the hand not holding his mug. “So basically, if I hadn’t been here, you would be dating Ed,” Louis stated drily.“Louis! Don’t say that!”“It’s true though, ain’t it?” he challenged.“Well. Oh jesus Louis, don’t make this any harder, will ya? I like Ed, yeah, but I love you. We’re married for fuck’s sake.”

 
Niall and Louis have been together forever and a day when they finally tie the knot. Ed performs at their wedding, and ultimately ends up being the one who makes Niall realise his happy ever after might be somewhere else...Starring the very lovely Ellie Sheeran who's the greatest kid ever.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [teaandtumblr](https://archiveofourown.org/users/teaandtumblr/gifts).



When Ed arrived at the venue, he smiled at the usual hectic hustle of people running back and forth. It was one of the reasons why he loved singing at weddings, everyone was nervous at first, making sure everything was exactly right and then at the end, it was all just happiness and joy for the newly wed couple. 

It took him a couple of minutes, putting away his guitar near the makeshift stage at the front of the room and making sure his shirt wasn’t too rumpled to perform in, to spot one of the grooms at the far end of the hall. He was being fussed over by a woman who was probably his mum,  and flanked by two beaming men, presumably father and brother.

“Niall, hi,” he greeted the man warmly, giving him a loose, one armed hug when he reached him. The bleached blond man gave him a nervous smile, rolling his shoulders in an attempt to relax though that seemed pretty hard to do when your mother kept brushing lint off your shoulders and back. 

 

“Hey man, everything alright?” he said faux-casually, breathing in relief when his mum saw someone else who’s clothes she had to fix and walked away as fast as her heels would carry her. “If everything’s going according to plan with Lou’s family, which, probably not but hey, we can always dream, the ceremony should start in fifteen. Lou emailed you the texts and everything, yeah? So you know when it’s your turn to sing?”

“Yup,” Ed nodded. “Anything I can do in the meantime? Check on Louis, arrange the flowers, make sure the bread is fresh?” he joked but Niall jumped at his first offer.

“Would you? Check on Lou, I mean. He was dead nervous this morning and I don’t think the presence of all his siblings in a tiny room is doing much good to it. I’d go myself but he forbid me to see him before the ceremony because that would only bring bad luck, stupid superstition.”

“Sure,” Ed shrugged easily, walking off in the direction Niall pointed him at, the soles of his dress shoes squeaking a little on the waxed floor. 

 

Chaos was an understatement for the state of the room he entered next. Six girls of various ages were fluttering about, fixing dresses and hair and makeup. In the far corner he saw Louis sitting down in a dark blue armchair, talking to a small boy in his lap. He looked up and smiled as he saw Ed approaching, confirming that he was alright and being around his siblings actually calmed him down, however improbable it seemed. 

 

The ceremony started only five minutes late. Ed listened to all of the nice things people said about the happy couple and sung and played the songs they’d agreed on. He was still packing up when Niall escaped from the throng of people lining up to congratulate him and his new husband, asking him to stay for the reception.

“Come on, I know we never asked before, but that’s because we’re both socially disabled and we completely forgot. Please stay. There’s plenty of food and it will be nice to have you around.”

Ed hesitated for a bit, but then realised that Ellie was at his mum’s for the night anyway and she’d probably wouldn’t even like it if he picked her up earlier. “Okay, if you’re sure it won’t be a problem with seating arrangements and all that,” he smiled at Niall, laughing along as Niall waved those worries away. 

“We never even bothered with those, our families and friends are too stubborn to listen to us anyway, so everyone should just pick their seats. Come on, I’ll introduce you to some people so you won’t have to sit by yourself all night.”

Niall linked his arm though Ed’s and pulled him along to the group of people surrounding his husband, allowing three or four people to pull him aside to congratulate him on their way. 

“So, everyone, this is Ed, the fantastic guy who agreed to play music at the ceremony for less money than he actually deserves, Ed, this is everyone. Or well, more specifically, Lottie, Fizzie, Daisy and Phoebe, Lou’s sisters, Greg, my brother, Harry, Louis’ best man. Lottie and Greg are taken, the rest you can do whatever with,” he winked, already turning around again to talk to someone else.

“Did Niall manage to remember to ask if there’s a partner you wanted to invite for the reception as well?” Louis asked, rolling his eyes at his husband’s antics. 

“He didn’t, but that’s alright, no partner. Thanks though,” Ed smiled, letting himself be engaged in the conversation around him.

 

He found himself between Lottie and Harry for dinner, Louis and Niall opposite them on the long table. Lottie was kind but cheeky and she reminded him a bit of an older version of Ellie, though he prayed that she wouldn’t start using such heavy makeup until she was at least 18, being the protective dad he would always be. 

Harry was… well, weird. He was obviously a nice guy, and good looking as well. Judging by his best man’s speech, he was a good friend too, but Ed just didn’t know how to react to the endless stream of wedding jokes he kept spewing throughout dinner. One would’ve been alright, even two or three, had it been good ones, but he had been going at it for three hours now and even Louis and Niall, who were well on their way to drunk and probably used to their friend’s antics, had stopped laughing at them a while ago. Harry always pouted a bit when no one laughed though, and just kept trying to make it better which never happened because no drunk ever told good jokes. 

 

Plates had already been cleared and everyone was on the dance floor when Harry finally seemed to give up. “You’re not into guys, are you?” he pouted exaggeratedly. 

Ed couldn’t help the chuckle escaping him. “I’m sorry Harry, I’m just not looking at the mo, bit of a complicated time, yeah?”

It seemed to brighten Harry at least a little bit though, knowing that it wasn’t anything personal. It really wasn’t, though the jokes definitely didn’t help, and it wasn’t exactly a lie that the last couple of years had been hectic and complicated enough for Ed to not even think about throwing himself on the market again. Harry looked like he wanted to ask something, but then Niall appeared behind them, whisking Ed away to the edge of the room before Harry could even open his mouth. 

“Fuck, shit, damn it!” Niall whispered. “I know we don’t really know each other very well, but you’re probably the only person here not drunk as fuck apart from Louis’ nan and I need someone with a clear mind to help me out here.”

Ed bit his lip, trying not to laugh at the absurdity of the situation, because Niall was obviously panicking. “What’s going on?”

“My- my wedding ring. It’s… fuck. It’s somewhere in that bowl of rice pudding and I can’t find it anymore.”

Ed quirked an eyebrow. “Niall… How does your wedding ring get stuck in a bowl of rice pudding?”

“I was having a taste, you know and apparently it wasn’t on my finger properly after taking it off to show it to a friend so it fell off and I tried fishing it out but it kept sinking deeper and deeper and I couldn’t find it. I’ve scooped all of the pudding around for like five minutes but people started to look funny and I still didn’t find it. Fuck. Louis’ going to kill me,” he rambled and this time Ed couldn’t stop himself from snorting out a laugh. 

“Okay, look, calm down. We know your ring is in the bowl, so we’ll find it. We’ve just got to… like dig it out or something.” 

“Yeah, yeah, okay, you’re right, yeah,” Niall nodded, letting himself be dragged towards the desserts table where the giant bowl of rice pudding sat in the middle. 

“Roll up your sleeves,” Ed instructed. “Wait no, don’t do that, your suit will be ruined and you don’t want your wedding suit ruined, obviously. Crap. I’ll do it.”

Niall looked on in drunk wonder as he rolled up his sleeves over his elbows and took the spoon to look around the bowl. “There!” he pointed out after a couple of minutes. “I just saw it but it keeps sinking to the bottom. Stand in front of me Niall, so no one who’s looking on from the tables will be able to see.”

Niall did as he was told, grabbing a gigantic card they’d gotten from a bunch of friends to block the view even more, giggling as he looked back at Ed who was now buried up until his elbow in the giant bowl of pudding.

It took a few minutes, but then… “Got it!” he triumphantly said, holding up the gold band that was covered in yellow pudding. 

“Oh thank god, I could kiss you,” Niall said, grabbing his ring and sucking the sweet dessert of it before sliding it back onto his finger.

“I wouldn’t, your husband might not appreciate it,” Ed winked as he wiped his arm with about thirty napkins. “Anyway, I should get going now, have to be up early tomorrow and all that.” He already groaned inwardly as he thought about the hour Ellie would be waking him up the next morning.

“Shame man, but I get it. Thanks for coming, yeah? And for singing and for digging this up,” he pointed at his ring.

“You’re welcome Niall, enjoy your honeymoon.” he smiled, walking away from the desserts table.

 

He went to find Louis, offered him another round of congratulations and wished him a happy holiday before heading to his mum’s, crawling into the too small bed in his childhood bedroom and wrapping his arms around Ellie who cuddled him back even in her sleep. 


	2. Chapter one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am horribly sorry for leaving you hanging for so long. I will be posting more regularly from now on, I promise!

“Hey! Don’t eat all the blue ones! They’re my favourites!” Louis chided, knocking Niall’s hand away from the bowl of M&M’s between them on the couch. 

“You do realise by now that they all taste the same, right?” Niall rolled his eyes and grabbed another handful, tossing them in his mouth and chewing them with his mouth half open. 

“They definitely don’t taste the same, Horan,  _ you _ should realise that by now.” Louis shook his head in despair. “By the way, Harry’s coming for dinner tomorrow, said he’s missed us too much while we were away.”

Niall snorted. “We’ve been in France for  _ ten days _ . Speaking of co-dependent.”

They’d returned from their honeymoon the day before, having chosen to return sooner to have a few days off at home before having to return to work.. Ever since arriving home, they’d spent their time unpacking and doing laundry, as well as unwrapping all of their gifts. Because they’d been living together for 16 months before their wedding, most people gave them money or some sort of voucher, either simply in an envelope or wrapped up in some playful way. The big bowl of M&M’s had been a gift of Louis’ siblings and they’d spent a good hour and a half fishing out all coins from between the sweets. 

“We should find him a boyfriend, it’s been too long since he got laid,” Louis remarked offhandedly. 

“That was pretty obvious last week, don’t think anyone failed to notice he was trying to get laid,” Niall scoffed. “Poor Ed, had to listen to his piss poor attempts at flirting and bad jokes all evening.”

“Hey!” Louis shoved his shoulder. “That’s my best friend you’re talking about!”

“I’m your best friend.” Niall grinned, knowing it was true.”

“My best friend I don’t fuck, then.”

“Not anymore, at least,” he teased, earning him another punch in the shoulder followed by a lapful of Louis.

“That was a one time thing when we were _fifteen_ _._ I thought we had agreed to never bring that up ever again,” he growled playfully.

“I definitely never agreed to such a thing,” Niall giggled as Louis’ fingers skimmed his sides over his shirt, already squirming at the prospect of being tickled. 

“I’ll just have to shut you up then,” Louis conceded, leaning down to capture Niall’s lips between his. Even if they’d just spent 10 days together and nearly half their time having some form of sex, they weren’t sated by far so it didn’t take long before they were both undressed and panting into each other’s mouths.

 

***

 

“Ed?” Niall called as he turned a corner at Tesco’s, looking for some spices Louis had specifically requested for dinner that evening. 

“Huh? Oh! Niall, hi!” Ed said, diverting his attention from the box of biscuits in his hands. “How was your honeymoon?”

“It was great, yeah, lovely weather, beautiful city, fantastic sex,” he grinned, flushing brightly when he noticed the little girl next to Ed. “Oh. Sorry,” he added but Ed snorted and waved him off.

“Dad! Dad! Can I have them or not?” the girl asked, pulling the hem of Ed’s sweater to get his attention.

“Huh? Oh, sorry Ellie, they’ve got milk in them, so you can’t have them. Give me a minute to talk to Niall here, yeah, then I’ll come with you to find some cookies you  _ can _ have.”

She nodded, grabbing the box back and running off to put it back where she’d found it.

“Is she…”

“My daughter? Yeah,” Ed smiled, already bracing himself for a conversation cut short, as happened so often when he met new people. 

“Cool. Was she with her other parent then, at the wedding? Louis said there was no partner involved, so I assume you’re not together with them anymore.”

Ed smiled, surprised that Niall was so laid back about it. “Nah, her mum and I broke up shortly after she was born and she moved to Sweden. Ellie only sees her two weeks over the summer when she goes there on holiday.”

“Yaiks. Can’t be easy. Hey, listen, why don’t you come to dinner tonight. Harry’s coming as well, but I promise he’ll behave better than last time, he won’t be as drunk to begin with.”

“That’s… that’s really nice of you, Niall, but I’ve got Ellie and I won’t be able to find a babysitter for her on such short notice.”

“Yeah, I know. I meant you and Ellie, actually. She could always sleep in the spare room if she’s tired. Ernie and Dottie do the same whenever Louis’ family visits run late.”

“Oh!” Ed looked around as he felt someone collide with his legs. “She’s allergic to milk though.”

“Won’t be a bother.” Niall shot back.

“Hey Ellie?” Ed crouched down. “Remember when you went to sleep at grandma’s a couple of weeks ago, when I had to sing at a wedding?” She nodded, listening intently to what her dad was telling her. “This is Niall, he’s one of the guys who got married, and he just asked if we want to come to dinner tonight, what do you think?”

“Will there be other kids?” she asked shyly, brushing a strand of her strawberry blonde hair out of her face.

“No,” Niall answered, having crouched down himself. “But Louis, that’s my husband, he’s got a bunch of sisters and a little brother as well who come to visit us all the time so we’ve got lots of toys you could play with if you wanted to.”

“Can I stay up then?” she asked, a hopeful glimmer in her eyes. 

Ed chuckled. “You haven’t got school tomorrow, so yeah, it’s okay for just this once.”

“Okay, I wanna go,” Ellie nodded enthusiastically, her head going up and down so fast the freckles on her nose blurred into a large brown spot. 

“You still got our address?” Niall asked, checking his phone for the time.

“Yup.”

“Good, you’re welcome around five,” he winked at Ellie. “Better get on now, or Louis’s gonna freak out over not having enough time to prepare. Anything but milk either of you don’t eat?”

“Nope, other than milk, anything’s fine,” Ed confirmed, already being pulled towards the cookies to find Ellie a brand she could have. 

 

***

 

Louis chuckled as he opened the door to find Ed with his hands full of beer and wine and a little girl almost completely hidden behind a giant bouquet of colourful flowers next to him.

“I couldn’t decide between beer or wine, and Ellie insisted you have to bring flowers when you’re invited to dinner, so we brought it all,” Ed shrugged. 

“These flowers are absolutely lovely, thank you so much young lady,” Louis smiled, crouching a bit to take them from her. “I’m gonna find a vase for these. Ed, you can drop both the beer and the wine on the coffee table. Niall will be downstairs in a sec, he’s getting some toys from the spare room.”

Ed whistled under his breath as he looked around the flat. It was modern, lots of natural light and large spaces without looking empty even without a lot of furniture in it. One side of the living room was all glass, giving out to a small balcony that only held two chairs and a small table with an ashtray on top, an open staircase close to the sliding door. 

“Oh, hi, I thought I heard something,” Niall greeted as he came down, arms full of toys he dropped on the carpet near the sofa. He pressed a quick kiss to Ed’s cheek and ruffled Ellie’s hair, telling her to check out what she wanted to play with. 

“Nice place you guys have,” Ed commented, impressed. Even if Ed had their address, he’d never really been in their flat. Their meetings had always been at the pub before or after Ed’s performance, limiting the number of times he had to get a babysitter for Ellie. 

“Thanks,” Louis smiled as he walked in, carrying a vase with the flowers. “Bought it last year, we both fell in love with it instantly.”

“I can see why, it’s wonderful. Wouldn’t have thought there were affordable places like this in London.”

“Never said it was affordable,” Louis winked. “Niall’s nan chipped in a bit, and I had some savings from when my father died.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, I was barely two when he died so I always considered my stepdad to be my father. In fact it’s what made us able to afford this place, so it’s all good,” he smiled. “You want beer or wine?”

Ed told him he’d have whatever they wanted, accepting a beer from Niall a bit later and sat down on the couch while they waited for Harry to arrive.

  
  


It was a lovely dinner. Harry had excused himself for his behaviour at the wedding, blushing adorably when he found Ed at the table. He’d still flirted a bit, but since he did the same with Niall and Louis, Ed presumed that was just his natural way of being. Louis had made sure there was no dairy in any of the dishes, so Ellie could eat everything that was served, and she happily tasted everything, interested in new flavours as always. 

She’d been playing on the carpet next to the couch while the four men had coffee but when Ed looked up next, superstitious because of how quiet she’d gone, she was sleeping soundly with her cheek squished on top of a train set. 

“You can put her to bed, if you want to? I mean, she can have the couch as well, but I suppose a bed would be more comfortable. You two can stay the night if you want to,” Niall offered, already getting up to help Ed move his little girl.

“I think I’ll wake her up to go home later, but a bed would probably be nice, thanks,” he replied, scooping Ellie up in his arms as if she weighed nothing and followed Niall up the stairs. 

She stirred a bit as he put her down and tucked her in, the bright blue sheets contrasting with her hair in a rather unpleasant way. After kissing her forehead one last time, he walked out of the room, looking for Niall. He found him on the other side of the hallway behind another glass wall that gave out on a large rooftop terrace. 

“Wow, and I thought the view from downstairs was impressive,” Ed remarked as he stepped outside to join Niall. The blond man looked back at him and smiled as he leaned on the glass banister.

“I love the view here. Louis is afraid of heights so he doesn’t like the glass banister as much but I think it adds to the experience. When the weather is right, we can see the Londen Eye from up here.”

It was late and dark enough to see lights coming on all over London, twinkling orange street lamps and brightly lit windows. 

“It’s beautiful. I’m officially jealous of this place, even if my own flat isn’t too bad.”

 

Ed found that it was easy to talk to Niall, they’d started about flats and their favourite spots in London, went over their jobs and had finally gotten to the topic of Ellie, the sky now completely dark above them. 

“It was a bit silly, really,” Ed shrugged. “We deemed ourselves the new Romeo and Juliette or something, starcrossed lovers with families that could never match. Her dad is the CEO of some multinational, her mum mostly shines her diamonds and silverware, or asks her staff to do so, while my parents always had to work hard for their money. We slept together after our senior prom, took our precautions but they all failed, apparently.”

“Yaiks,” Niall interjected.

Ed chuckled. “Yeah, well. We probably never properly fit together, but we never realised that. Her dad tried to pressure her into getting an abortion, but she didn’t want to, let him exile her even to come live with me and my parents but it didn’t work. We tried it until Ellie was a month old or so, then Keira left and she moved countries soon after that. Realised she never really wanted a kid, while I’d been crazy about Ellie from the first ultrasound, so it was an easy decision to let her stay with me.”

“Can’t have been easy to be, what, 18? with a newborn baby, though. It was hard on Louis when the little twins were born and he was just their brother.”

“19, actually. But no, it wasn’t. My parents helped out alot and I chose a shorter study closer by instead of going away to uni. Made it work somehow, and we’re steady on our feet now.”

“Admirable,” Niall smiled, turning halfway to meet Ed’s eyes. “She seems lovely.”

“She is. Best thing that ever happened to me, honestly.”

 

Time seemed suspended as they kept looking at each other, not even saying a word though Ed felt as if they could carry entire conversations with just their eyes. He swallowed as Niall reached out a hand, put it on his arm tentatively without breaking their eye contact. He could see Niall’s throat bobbing as well, opening his mouth as if he was about to say something.

 

“Ah! Here you are! Harry and I were getting lonely downstairs. Thought you’d fallen asleep along with Ellie,” Louis smiled as he walked out onto the terrace.

Niall’s hand had disappeared, leaving a warm spot on Ed’s skin though he felt shame spreading through his veins as Louis wrapped an arm around Niall’s waist and pulled his husband close to his side.

“Nah, just been watching the city out here, talking a bit,” Niall told him, voice sounding strangely hoarse and smile looking a bit forced. Louis didn’t seem to notice though, just pecked him on the lips in a sweet kiss before looking out at London himself. 

“Still think we should cover the banister with something, the glass is creeping me out,” he mumbled, putting his head on Niall’s shoulder.

“I- uh, I think I better get going,” Ed brought out, clearing his throat and mentally slapping himself for being an idiot. 

“I’ll help you get Ellie downstairs and let you out,” Niall offered, and in absence of a polite way to decline Niall’s help, he accepted with a smile that felt more than strained. 

The silence in the lift on their way down felt heavy and Ed kept focusing on Ellie’s even breath to distract him from the whirlwind of thoughts running havoc in his mind. 

 

Once he’d put Ellie in her car seat and closed the door, he found Niall right in front of him, their proximity taking his breath away. 

“Thanks for having us,” he offered.

“Thanks for coming.”

“I uhm, I better get going, it’s late.”

“Yeah. Okay.”

“Yeah.”

“See you, Ed.”

“Bye, Niall.”

 

As he drove off, he could see Niall standing on the curb in front of his building, not moving until he had to turn the corner. 

His head was a mess, but somehow he succeeded to shut his thoughts down and go to sleep, maybe things would be easier in the morning. Perhaps he had all imagined it, the attraction he felt, the way he thought it was mutual, even. How could it be true when Niall was only just married anyway?


	3. chapter two

At first, after that charged evening, Ed never wanted to see Niall again. It was too hard, too confusing, too stupid. But, just like what had happened at the supermarket, Niall kept turning up in Ed’s life. 

They ran into each other at the bakery near Ellie’s school, at a pub Ed was playing at and a couple of times on the subway on their way home from work. 

It was frustrating at first, Ed couldn’t forget about that night on the rooftop terrace, how he’d felt, how Niall’s eyes had locked with his. He couldn’t help the fluttering in his stomach whenever they met, but after a couple of weeks he forced himself to ignore it and be friends like Niall obviously wanted. 

They started meeting up for planned nights out when Ed was performing and even had a couple of guitar playing sessions at Niall’s rooftop terrace when Ellie had a playdate with some friends from school. 

 

It was a Saturday at the end of September when Ed got a phone call, telling him that the classmate Ellie was supposed to go play at, had gotten sick so she couldn’t come. He didn’t like to disappoint Ellie, but worst of all he hated himself for the dread he felt at having to cancel his jam session with Niall. He wasn’t supposed to feel this way, Niall was just a friend, it was all he could ever be because clearly him and Louis were married. 

 

“‘Ello?”

“Louis? Oh! I uhm, I was trying to reach Niall, actually, did I mix up your numbers?” he stammered, guilt curling in his stomach. 

Louis merely chuckled. “No mate, this is his phone, he forgot it when going out for groceries. Something up?”

“Uhm, yeah, just uhm. Just wanted say I can’t make it this afternoon, Ellie’s playdate got canceled so...”

“Ah, sorry to hear that man and Niall will be too. He was looking forward to show you some new song he’s been working on. Starting to feel like a proper singer songwriter I think.”

“Hmm, I’m sorry too, ‘s always fun, but I can hardly bring Ellie with me.”

“Wait, I thought something was up with Ellie, but the only problem is that you haven’t got a babysitter or something?”

“Yeah, I suppose so. I usually arrange playdates for her when Niall and I meet up,” Ed explained, growing more and more confused by Louis’ question.

“Ed, mate, just bring her along, yeah? I don’t mind watching her, she’s a lovely kid, we can play together or maybe even do some crafts if she likes that.”

“She hates art and craft.” Ed replied.

“Good, that makes two of us. But do come over, all right?”

“If you’re sure?”

“Definitely. See you!”

Ed couldn’t help the small smile playing on his face with the prospect of his plans going through after all.

“Ellie!” he hollered through the flat, grinning when she appeared in the doorway to her bedroom. “Get dressed love, you’re coming with me, Louis said he’ll play with you!”

 

***

 

“I like that bit,” Ed told Niall once the guitar had gone silent. “Just, maybe if you switch up that C-chord for a C minor, think that might be better.” 

“Wait, C minor, which one is that again?” Niall mumbled, trying out finger settings on the neck of his guitar before swiping his plectrum down the strings. 

“Your middle finger goes there,” Ed showed him, getting up from his seat to stand behind Niall and help him out. “Almost, yeah, press down a bit harder on your pink,” he leaned over and pushed Niall’s pink harder into the metal string, having to close his eyes at the spark he felt at the contact. He swallowed, unable to remove his hand, especially because Niall had frozen in front and underneath him.

“Wooooah, that was the biggest train crash I’ve ever seen!” came Louis’ voice from downstairs, effectively shaking both men out of their stupor.

“Right,” Ed exclaimed, too loud and too harsh for the atmosphere in Niall’s music room. “Play it again, with the C minor now.”

Niall nodded, cleared his throat and started over, singing along with a slightly shaky voice. 

 

“Are you sure you guys don’t want to stay for dinner? We’ve got plenty of food, so it’s really no bother,” Louis said as he showed Ed and Ellie out the door. 

“No thanks, I already got the meat out of the freezer this morning, it’ll go bad if we don’t eat it tonight,” Ed replied, feeling like his smile didn’t reach his eyes as he ignored Ellie’s pleas to stay.

“If you’re sure. See you next time Ellie, I had so much fun with you this afternoon!”

Louis knelt down in front of Ellie, pushing a lock of her long hair behind her ear as they said goodbye. Ed locked eyes with Niall, feeling uncomfortably familiar with the stormy look he had in the blue of his irises. It felt like a wordless conversation while they waited for Louis and Ellie to finish and it did nothing to stop the flutters in Ed’s stomach. 

He hated them, yet he kept looking for them whenever he could, it was horrible.

 

***

 

“Niall, no. Come on, go with someone else then, it’s stupid to stay at home with me when we’ve got perfectly good seats at the stadium.” Louis complained even if he gave his husband a grateful look when he handed him a much desired cup of tea. 

“But you’re sick!” Niall retorted.

“It’s just a nasty cold, honestly, it’s not like I’m dying and you’ve got to hold my hand or anything. Just go!”

“If you’re sure?”

“I’m sure. Call Harry or Ed or whoever you want and go see ManU win this game, yeah?”

Niall rolled his eyes, running up the stairs to grab his coat, scarf and mittens because fucking hell, October had been terribly cold so far and scrolling through his phone to find the right contact. Harry was the safe option, he knew that. His thumb hovered over the call-icon but something held him back. It was the sensible thing to do, but if he had ever been sensible, he probably would’ve told Ed they shouldn’t see each other as often, or at all, ages ago. So up went his thumb, scrolling back to the E and calling the first name that came up.

  
  


His toes already felt like they had fallen off from the cold by the time Ed pulled up to the curb, his breaks shrieking as he stopped.

“Are you sure we’re gonna make it to the stadium with this old thing?” Niall teased as he got in, warming his hands against the radiator. 

“Hey, you shut up about this pretty lass or you can walk there, got it?” Ed shot back, grinning nevertheless. 

Under normal circumstances, it would’ve been stupid to go by car since Arsenal’s stadium wasn’t too far by tube, but the tube had been on strike for a week straight now and it was too cold to go on foot or by bike. So car it was, Niall being grateful that Ed offered him a ride and he didn’t need to take Louis’ stupidly expensive jeep there. 

“Pretty lass, huh, did you name her too?” Niall jeered goodnaturedly, breathing out in relief when he finally felt his fingers again.

“No!” Niall chuckled at the way Ed flushed at his suggestion and spend most of the way to the stadium trying to get the name he gave his car out of him, without success, unfortunately. 

They’d chosen to leave early, trying to avoid traffic jams because of the tube strike, and sure enough, the stadium was still mostly empty when they arrived. There were some people already in their seats, but most of the few that had come early were milling around inside, trying to stay warm and getting some food and beverages. 

Ed went to stand in line for tea, both men agreeing that a hot drink was a better option than a cold beer in this temperatures, while Niall took the line for the hamburgers, meeting each other in a small nook of the hallway that held three bright orange plastic chairs. 

“How long until the match starts?” Niall asked through his last mouthful of hamburger, trying to wipe the ketchup smears from his face.

“About an hour and a half,” Ed replied, grabbing their rubbish and getting up to throw it in the bin. 

Niall pulled a face, whining about how he hated to wait and the match better be good.

“Hold on, can we like, leave the stadium and then get back inside?” Ed asked, looking like he had the Nobel prize winning idea of the century.

“We’ve got year cards, of course we can come and go as we like,” 

“Come on then!”

Niall let Ed grab his hand and followed him through the hallways, out the door, out the gates and onto the streets, both men laughing out loud at the incredulous and sometimes annoyed looks they got from the people around them. They probably  _ were _ a ridiculous sight probably, all bundled up in scarves, gloves, beanies, boots and thick coats and running along like they had a train to catch. 

“There,” Ed panted as he came to a stop in front of what looked like…

“A luna park?”

“Yep. My dad took me here sometimes when we came to watch the football. Wasn’t sure it would still be here, but apparently it is,” Ed grinned. “Perfect way to kill some time.”

 

It was half dark inside, the small place filled to the brim with all kinds of outdated arcade games, including a big pac man game next to a pinball machine that held pictures of the Spice Girls.

“This place is ancient,” Niall told Ed, but he sounded like he was in awe that everything he remembered from when he was a little kid was still here, and working. 

“Yup.” Ed grinned, already fishing for coins in the pockets of his jeans, fingers itching to play.

They split up at first, both making their way around one of the walls, trying out the different games and laughing when they turned out to be shit at it. After about an hour, they bumped into each other at the far back wall in front of the last machine they hadn’t tried. 

“Oh my god, it’s a dance computer!” Niall cheered. “Lou’s sisters have a dance game for their wii and it’s hilarious! Come on, we’ve got to play.”

“We haven’t got much time left though,” Ed reminded him, but Niall didn’t really care, told him that the first 15 minutes of the match would be boring anyway, so they stepped up onto the platform and fed some of their last coins into the machine. 

Giggling at the pompous voice that came out of the machine, they both stood on their square, ready to follow instructions from the dance video. 

The music sounded more like a disco experiment gone bad, but the steps weren’t as easy as they’d thought, soon reducing them to sweaty, panting messes as they tried to dance while laughing out loud at their own antics. 

Finally, the computer told them they’d lost so they jumped off, still laughing as they fell into each other’s arms, tired from the surprisingly heavy work out. 

 

Niall looked up and found Ed’s face barely an inch from his. It was silly, stupid even, but he couldn’t help it. Couldn’t help the way he got up on his tip toes and brought his lips closer to Ed’s. Or the way their eyes locked, the storm he felt raging inside him reflected in Ed’s blue ones. Not even the way he leaned in, closing his eyes because he couldn’t handle seeing it, but he couldn’t stop either.

Their lips were soft against each other, dry, but soft. Their kiss started as little more than a soft press of their lips but once Ed breathed out, Niall moved his lips and captured Ed’s bottom lip between his own, nipping at it and flicking his tongue against the seam. 

Niall moved his hand to Ed’s shoulder, pulling him in and deepening their kiss, shivering when their tongues touched.  _ Finally,  _  he tought.

It wasn’t until the computer next to them let out a sample of the horrendous disco music that he suddenly realised what he was doing.

 

“Fuck,” he breathed. “Fuck, Ed. I’m- I’m so sorry. This shouldn’t have happened, I - Louis.” He rambled. “Fuck.”

His gaze was stuck to the ground, couldn’t bring himself to look Ed in the eyes when he finally cleared his throat, after what seemed like hours.

“I understand, Niall. It’s fine.” his voice was hoarse and weak, but Niall forced himself not to think about that. “We should probably go back, see the match.”

“Yeah. Yeah, good idea,” Niall nodded, guilt and dread curling in his stomach already. 

 

_ What even was this?  _ He wasn’t a cheater. He loved Louis with all his heart. He couldn’t fall in love with Ed, so it had to be a simple infatuation that wasn’t worth the risk of losing Louis, losing his marriage. This had to stop. 


	4. Chapter three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has my very favourite moment of the entire fic (except for maybe the last scene before the epilogue) in it :)

It was hard in the beginning. The weekends he didn’t have to work were empty and boring, especially when Ellie had a playdate or an extra swimming class or dance rehearsal. Pub nights were bland and cut short, Ed never stayed around anymore for a beer once his songs were sung. 

He understood, of course, but after months of spending so much time together, he missed Niall. He’d already come to terms with the fact that his crush would have to stay buried until the end of times, but he could at least have Niall’s friendship. Until now. 

It got easier over the course of time. He got out more when Ellie was at home, worked some extra hours at the shop and his house had never looked as clean as it did now. He’d be fine.

 

It was one of those stupid Sunday openings, two weeks before Christmas and the streets were filled with people shopping for gifts, all of them grumpy and annoyed because obviously Christmas shopping was the bane of their existence. Ed wasn’t any less grumpy and annoyed though, because even though he worked in one of the city’s most respected string shops, on days like these he got only customers who didn’t understand the first thing about a guitar and got mad when he told them exactly how expensive that beautiful red guitar up on the wall was. As if it was an abomination that their son (who looked about 7 and not very interested in any guitar) couldn’t get it to learn how to play. As if he should offer them a 95% percent discount on a Fender so they could afford it. Not to mention the people who thought they were parents to a young Mozart who encouraged them to try out every single piano in the shop, only to leave without buying anything. 

 

He hated those kind of days, and was counting down the hours. Thankfully, by three o’clock, it had started raining and the icy wind had picked up, so the streets had pretty much cleared out, allowing Ed some time to get the store back in it’s usual state and assess the damages. He was almost done, damage limited to two broken strings that he was about to replace when the bell chimed, again.

He rolled his eyes, bit back a sigh and called out that he would be out front in a second. 

Deciding he couldn’t trust whatever customer that had arrived not to steal or damage everything, he dropped the box of strings on the table in the back and made his way to the front of the shop, pasting another fake smile on his face.

 

“Hello, how can I help?” he asked the man who was looking up to the guitars on the top row, hands pushed deep into the pockets of his tight jeans.  _ Nice ass _ , Ed thought to himself.

“Hi,” the man answered, swirling around with a smile that changed into a look of surprise. “Ed? Wow, I didn’t know you worked here!”

“Louis!” Ed was about as surprised as Louis looked, baffled, even. And uneasy, since it had been weeks since they’d seen each other last.

“You own this place?”

“Co-own it, actually. Started to work here when I graduated, became friends with the owner and invested a bit over the years, yeah.”

“Nice. Now I get why you didn’t have much time to meet up with us, Niall said something about being busy at work but it seemed like he didn’t really know the details himself.”

Ed gritted his teeth as discrete as he could, feeling queasy at having to lie to Louis, though it seemed his husband had done most of the trick already. “Yeah, yeah. Busy times before Christmas.”

“I bet. It’s good to see you again, been missing having you around,” Louis grinned, oblivious to Ed’s unease as he walked over and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. “And also because at least now I know I’ll get honest advice about Niall’s Christmas gift.”

“What are you thinking of getting him?” Ed asked, jumping on the opportunity for a change of subject.

“An new guitar. His old one is pretty battered and the strings keep breaking, so I thought I’d buy him a new one. Do you think he’d like an electric guitar?”

 

They discussed things like budget, what they thought Niall would like the most, and Ed demonstrated a couple of the guitars he’d proposed to show Louis how different their sound was. 

 

“I think I’ll take that one,” Louis pointed at the palisander Gibson Ed had showed him last. 

“You’ve got an expensive taste, mate,” Ed teased, reminding Louis of the price. 

Louis merely shrugged. “Got only one husband and the money to spare, so might as well.” 

Ed’s smile fell a bit but he forced his mouth up again. “True. Should I wrap it up, or what?” he asked, casting a look at the dark sky outside. It had finally stopped raining, but he wasn’t sure for how long.

“Add a case too, I’ll wrap some ribbon around it once I’ve gotten home, thanks,” Louis answered distractedly, now eyeing the piano’s in the other section of the shop. “Tell Niall I’d like to have a piano when he asks what the should get me for my birthday,” he winked. “It’s been ages since I’ve last played.”

“I’ll let him know,” Ed smiled, finding that, despite the instant connection he had with Niall, he really liked Louis as well. He was a great guy, funny, handsome, kind. No wonder Niall had chosen him as his partner. He took Louis’ credit card, swiping it through and waiting for the beep while he reverently put the guitar in it’s new case. 

“It’s a great choice, Lou. I bet Niall’s gonna be over the moon with it,” he added honestly as he handed it over. 

“I hope so yeah, he’s been out of sorts lately, maybe this cheers him up a bit.” Louis’ smile turned a bit sad when he mentioned it, but it was gone before Ed could question it. “See you, Ed, please come around again when things slow down a bit. I’m sure Niall’s been missing you as well.”

 

***

 

_ Louis was in the shop. Said to tell you he wants a piano for his birthday. _

 

The message was sitting in his phone for days now. Of course he’d noticed the sudden appearance of a guitar case in Louis’ office over the weekend, and he’d seen the shop’s logo on it too. He’d been thrown off by it for a day or two, and just when he’d started to feel centered again, Ed had sent him a message.

 

After that football match, it’d been radio silence from both sides. It was too hard to reach out, though it was at least equally hard not to. He missed Ed, they’d become close friends over the last couple of months, but it was too hard to see him while the desire was still so fresh. He couldn’t do it, couldn’t cheat on Louis. Niall loved Louis, had loved him ever since they were 18, he couldn’t throw that away for what might not be more than a crush. 

 

The thing was, Niall knew Louis wanted a piano, had known it for ages, since Louis wasn’t the most subtle guy in the universe. So Niall had been saving up and got Louis’ family to chip in even. All he had to do was go out and buy one. It wasn’t like there was only one music shop in all of London, but only one of them was the best. And that one, that was Ed’s shop. There was always the off chance that Ed wouldn’t be working whenever Niall went in, but Niall knew very well that he worked most week days to have some time off with Ellie in the weekends and therefore his chances were rather small. 

He’d been stalling for an hour now, looking at the windows of other shops around, checking the bus’s time table (though he didn’t need to take the bus to get home) and staring at the message in his phone. It was almost closing time, so if he wanted a chance to get a piano in time for Louis’ birthday party next week, he needed to get it now. 

 

He could feel his heart pounding in his throat when he finally walked inside, pushing the door of the empty shop open and setting off a chime. 

“I’ll be right there!” came a muffled voice from the back of the store, and as muffled as it was, it was still clearly Ed’s. It felt as though Niall’s heart was trying to escape through his ribcage and it wasn’t getting any better when he heard Ed’s footsteps approaching.

“Sorry, I was at work in the back, how can I-”

“Hello,” Niall managed, much to his own surprise.

“Hi.” Ed’s voice was barely more than a whisper, shock written clearly on his face.

“I uhm. I wanted to buy a piano. For Louis. For his birthday.”

“Oh. Yes. Of course. You could start a band together,” Ed smiled, but his attempt at a joke fell flat. “Piano’s are all over there.”

 

Ed filled the majority of the next ten minutes with blabbering about technical details, which piano was better for which kind of pianist, prices and such. Niall listened and tried to keep his hands in his pocket instead of reaching out for Ed’s gesturing hands. 

“Which one would you recommend? I have no idea how to choose,” he finally admitted, eyes trained on Ed’s face as he bit his bottom lip in thought.

“Where would you put it? In the living room? Or the spare room where you play guitar?”

“Uhm, living room, I think. He could play with his headphones on when the sound is unwelcome.”

“Yeah, the spare room would probably become cramped if you wanted to play together, I think, but if you put it in the living room, I’d go for that one over here. It’s not too big, but it still has the normal range and the sound comes pretty close to a buffet piano.”

“Can I try it? Not that I’m a skilled pianist, but you know, see how it sounds and such?”

“Sure, go ahead.”

 

Niall sat down and put his fingers on the keys, trying out the songs Louis had taught him years ago, before they’d moved to London. Ed left him alone, disappearing to the back of the shop to continue whatever it was he was doing before Niall arrived and Niall lost himself a bit in the music, the muscle memory of his fingers stronger than he had expected. 

When he started playing Adele’s version of Make you feel my love, he started singing along softly, unaware of how Ed appeared in the doorway, watching him play and sing in silence.

 

_ When the rain is blowing in your face  _

_ And the whole world is on your case  _

_ I could offer you a warm embrace  _

_ To make you feel my love  _

_ When the evening shadows and the stars appear  _

_ And there is no one there to dry your tears  _

_ I could hold you for a million years  _

_ To make you feel my love  _

 

_ I know you haven't made your mind up yet  _

_ But I would never do you wrong  _

_ I've known it from the moment that we met  _

_ No doubt in my mind where you belong  _

_ I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue  _

_ I'd go crawling down the avenue  _

_ No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do  _

_ To make you feel my love _

 

_ The storms are raging on the rolling sea  _

 

Niall looked up, shocked enough to stop singing when he heard Ed’s voice join him but encouraged to continue when he saw the other man’s smile.

 

_ And on the highway of regret  _

_ Though winds of change are throwing wild and free  _

_ You ain't seen nothing like me yet  _

_ I could make you happy, make your dreams come true  _

_ Nothing that I wouldn't do  _

_ Go to the ends of the Earth for you  _

_ To make you feel my love _

 

There were tears in his eyes and his hands were shaking but he had to do this. They had to talk about it.

“I - I can’t do this, Ed. Whatever this is, between us, it holds no future. I’ve got Louis, I love him, he’s my husband. We can’t… We can’t be together.”

“I know,” Ed croaked, suddenly a whole lot closer. “I don’t want to be a homewrecker Niall. I couldn’t be. I mean, I was there, at your wedding. The two of you belong together. You love each other so much.”

“We do,” Niall nodded, but he couldn’t shake that uneasy feeling that he was mostly trying to convince himself. “I miss you,” he added after a few seconds.

“Could we ever be friends though, just friends?” Ed questioned, hands wringing in lack of anything else to do.

“I hope so,” Niall whispered.

“Then maybe we should try.”

 

Niall scrubbed his hands over his face, trying to collect himself. “I’m sorry, I’ve probably kept you here way past your closing time,” he finally said, looking outside into the dark streets. 

“It’s fine, Ellie’s with my mum and neither of them will mind me coming home a bit later,” Ed countered. “Do you want to buy the piano though?”

“Yeah, yes, please. Could you still have it delivered by next Wednesday? We’ve got his birthday party then so it would be nice if his gift was actually there for it.”

“It’s short notice, but we could probably squeeze it in, let me check.” Ed walked over to the small desk that held the cash register, a diary and and some papers. “We could have it delivered Monday morning, if you wanted? It’d have to be the one that’s here in the shop though, I can’t get a new model ordered and shipped by then. It’s been tested a couple of times, but it’s only been here for a month or two so it’s still in pristine state, as you’ve been able to see for yourself. The plus side is that I could offer you a 10% discount because of it.”

“Oh. Yeah, thanks. That would be great.”

 

Niall let himself hug Ed when he let him out of his shop, turning the key again behind him. He hurried to the tube station and back home, where Louis would probably be wondering where he’d been. 

Louis never questioned why Ed suddenly turned up that Saturday, an excited Ellie bouncing up and down next to him. He just smiled, hugged their friend and got Ellie’s favourite toys from the spare bedroom so Ed and Niall could play guitar together.

Niall hoped he didn’t see the way Ed and him kept locking eyes at Louis’ birthday party that Wednesday, but if he did, he never mentioned it. Friends, he reassured himself again as Louis drove them up North for Christmas, that was all they were, all they could be. 


	5. chapter four

Louis smiled as he could hear music trickling from upstairs as he let himself and Ellie back inside. It was still pretty cold, but the sun was out, trying to warm up into spring and it had been a lovely opportunity to take to tube to Kensington Gardens and spend some time in the Diana memorial playground. Ellie loved it there, had spent half of the afternoon climbing up the pirate ship and the rest of it running around the musical installments. 

“Shall we have some tea? Or maybe I’ll be able to dig up some dairy-free hot chocolate for you,” he winked as he took her coat and hung it up on the rack while waiting for her to pull off her boots. 

“Do you have whipped cream?” she asked, her eyes already twinkling at the idea.

Louis scoffed. “I live with Niall, I always have whipped cream. But yes, I think I still have that coconut cream I used when you stayed for dinner last month.”

Ellie took out some colouring while she waited for her drink, humming in thanks when Louis handed her a couple of biscuits as well. Once Louis had his tea and Ellie her mug of hot chocolate and whipped cream, they coloured together, changing the Disney Princess designs into the craziest weirdo princesses they could think of. 

After half an hour or so, Ed and Niall came downstairs for a bit, having apparently decided they needed the piano to work on one of their songs. They both waved and smiled at the twosome sitting at the kitchen table, but it didn’t take long before they were completely immersed in their music once again. 

 

It was always like that, as soon as the two of them were together, anything could happen without them noticing, Louis thought wistfully. He should probably do something about it soon. He’d been waiting for Niall to do so, but it had been months now and still nothing. Louis wondered if he even realised himself. It’d be their first anniversary next month, but Louis wasn’t sure he wanted to celebrate that. Not like this.

 

He was torn out of his thoughts when the two men got up again and went back upstairs, still talking about some chord or a lyric they weren’t completely sure of and turned back to Ellie, only to find she was looking at Ed and Niall as well. 

“They look like they’re in love, don’t you think?” he asked, surprised when she gasped and looked at him with her mouth wide open.

“I know right!” she exclaimed. “I’ve been asking dad about it for weeks but he keeps denying it! At least now I know I’m not the only one who thinks so!”

She babbled on for a while before the subject lost it’s appeal and she turned back to her colouring book, leaving Louis with his thoughts once more.

 

If even a six year old could see it, maybe it was really time to act on it. 

Tomorrow, he told himself. Tomorrow, he’d talk to Niall.

 

****

 

“Hey,” Niall smiled, greeting his husband as he walked into their bedroom. Louis’d come to bed late last night, when Niall’d already been asleep, and he’d been up when Niall woke up again this morning. Probably stress at work, he thought, resolved to ask Louis about it this afternoon when they went out for a walk. 

He carried on putting the laundry away, balancing a stack of coloured T-shirts when Louis finally spoke from where he was sitting on his bed.

“So, are we finally going to talk about how we haven’t fucked in a month and you’re obviously in love with Ed?”

Needless to say, the T-shirts were dropped to the floor and Niall was frozen on the spot.

“We haven’t not fucked for a month,” he finally managed, resulting in a scoff from Louis.

“Three weeks and three days then, if you want to be precise. But at least you’re not denying to be in love with Ed.”

“Lou, I’m sorry, I’ll …” Niall started, but Louis cut him off with a hand on his arm. He’d gotten up from the bed and cupped Niall’s cheek in his palm.

“Don’t apologise Ni, I just… I just want to talk, okay? I didn’t know how to start it otherwise.”

Niall nodded. “Yeah, okay, lemme just… I’ll finish putting away the laundry first, ‘kay? We could sit on the terrace?”

Louis nodded and produced a small smile, grabbing a warm jumper as he headed out for the terrace, knowing that Niall would need a few minutes to gather his thoughts. 

 

Niall’s thoughts were whirring inside his head, he’d tucked it all away so carefully for so long, but now that Louis had said something about it, it was like Pandora’s box. He managed to get all their clothes in their rightful place, shirts refolded before putting them away and grabbed a jumper, burying himself inside it as he walked the short way to the sliding door. 

He sat down on a lounge chair, a few yards away from where Louis was perched on the bench, knees drawn up to his chest and his jumper tugged over them in a way that would leave the wool fabric stretched and wonky. Niall had given up on telling him not to do that a long time ago, knowing Louis wouldn’t listen anyway. 

He pulled his own knees up as well, covering himself with one of the blankets they kept outside for days like these and picking up the steaming mug of tea Louis had brought out for him.

 

He stared in front of him for a bit, able to pick out the glittering of the river in the sun and the London Eye in the distance while he drank his tea, strong and black, exactly the way he liked it. 

“So you do? Love him, I mean?” Louis asked finally and Niall hated the crack in his voice. The crack that only appeared when he was trying really hard not to cry.

“No?” Louis quirked an eyebrow and Niall couldn’t help the small smile tugging on his lips. “Maybe? I dunno Lou! I like him, yeah, a lot. And we’ve… we’ve got this click and I suppose, if things were different, we might have already been dating.” Niall sighed, rubbing his face with the hand not holding his mug. 

“So basically, if I hadn’t been here, you would be dating Ed,” Louis stated drily.

“Louis! Don’t say that!”

“It’s true though, ain’t it?” he challenged.

“Well. Oh jesus Louis, don’t make this any harder, will ya? I like Ed, yeah, but I love you. We’re married for fuck’s sake.”

Louis scoffed. 

“Louis come on, don’t be like this. We still are married, and call me an idiot all you want, but to me that’s significant and it keeps me from pursuing whatever feelings I may have for Ed,” Niall all but yelled, visibly shaking Louis up.

He held up his hands in a silent apology and shuffled a bit closer to where Niall was sitting. “Sorry, it’s hard for me as well.”

“I get that.”

“I just… I don’t want to be the one keeping you back from being happy, Niall.”

“But I  _ am _ happy. With you.”

“You  _ were _ happy. I know you love me and I’m sure we got married for all the right reasons, but Niall… the way you look at Ed… You’ve never looked at me that way. Not even when we were 18 and madly and carelessly in love,” Louis voice was soft, but he sounded resolved, as if he’d already given up on Niall. On them.

“But Lou,” Niall started, unwilling to believe that this would be the end of his marriage.

“I know, you love me. But I don’t think you’re in love with me. Not anymore.”

“What is this then? Are you breaking up with me? Telling me you want a divorce?”

“I don’t want a divorce, Niall. Trust me, it’s the last thing I want. But I want you to be happy more than anything, and if letting you go is what it takes, then so be it.”

 

Niall buried his face in his hands, letting the tears that had been burning behind his eyes ever since he first stepped out flow freely. He hated the silence that followed, hated the fact that he felt alone more than anything. He heard some rustling and then the familiar click of Louis’ lighter, indicating that he’d lit up a cigarette, even if he’d quit a million times already. 

 

“I- I need time, Lou. You can’t expect me to decide what I want right here and now. I need to think.” 

Louis nodded, blowing out smoke and removing the ashes by tapping his finger on top of his fag. “Of course, Ni. I get that. I’ll go out, yeah? Give you some time alone. And that doesn’t mean I expect an answer when I come back tonight, take all the time you need. I can take the spare room if you want.”

“No, that’s… it’s fine, I think. Besides, if anyone should move out of the bedroom, it’d be me.”

“We’ll see about that tonight then, alright? I’ll be with Harry if you need me.”

Niall nodded but didn’t turn around to watch Louis leave the terrace, nor did he follow him downstairs. He couldn’t.

Instead he sat back and looked at the pale blue sky, the wintery sun already descending for the evening. He stayed outside until it got too cold, winter still in full force despite it being April and made his way downstairs where he lit up the fireplace, needing something to warm him up thoroughly.

It didn’t help though, even when his cheeks were flushed and he was sweating under his jumper, he still felt cold to the bone. Nothing seemed to be able to warm him from the inside out. By the time it was time to go to sleep, he still had no idea what to do and Louis still hadn’t returned. He went to bed and turned off the lights, pretending to be asleep when Louis came home half an hour later, reeking of alcohol and cigarettes and probably looking like he’d cried all night.

 

****

 

The next couple of days went by in a haze. He went to work, came back home and tried to think about it, or to avoid thinking about it. Louis wasn’t home very often, went to see Harry most days he didn’t work late and only came home when Niall was already in bed. 

On Friday morning, Niall decided this wasn’t going to work. He made a few calls and when he was confident that everything was arranged properly, he sent Louis a text message to ask him to come home for dinner that night. 

 

He didn’t cook very elaborately, simply cooked a pack of pasta and added sauce he still had in the freezer but it would do. 

“I’m gonna fly home,” he said once Louis had poured them both a glass of wine and sat down to eat his pasta. “I can’t think straight here, I get tossed back and forth between whatever choices I have, I need to get away from the flat, from London altogether.”

“Okay.”

“My flight’s tomorrow afternoon and I took two weeks off of work. Haven’t booked a return flight yet, but I won’t let you wait any longer than necessary. As soon as I know what I want- need to do, I’ll fly back and we’ll talk.”

“Okay.”

“I’m sorry Lou,” he added, suddenly feeling tears burning behind his eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

“Hey,” Louis comforted. He put down his cutlery and rounded the table, putting his hand on Niall’s shoulder and smiling softly when his husband shoved his chair back so he could sit on his lap. His hand moved to Niall’s cheek, cupping it while his thumb rubbed the stubble that had resulted from a few days without shaving. “It’s alright, love. It’s not your fault. We’ll make it through this, somehow.”

“You really think so?” Niall sniffled, looking up to find Louis’ blue eyes warm and kind, despite the situation they were in.

“Of course. Even if we decide to break up, we’re still friends, Niall. Nothing’s going to change that,” Louis assured him.

Even if he knew it probably wouldn’t be that easy, he still smiled and tucked his head against Louis’ chest, already calming down a bit by the familiar smell of washing detergent, aftershave and just Louis, accompanied by the steady thump-thump of his heart.

“I love you,” Louis whispered, kissing Niall’s hair softly as he wrapped him in his arms.

Niall looked up again and blinked slowly, biting his lip in contemplation before he leaned up and pulled Louis down with the arm around his neck. “I love you too,” he breathed back, right before their lips touched softly. 

It felt familiar and strange at the same time. Louis’ lips were chapped and dry, probably from biting them so much over the last couple of days but other than that, their kisses were still muscle memory. 

It didn’t take long until Louis got up to turn around and straddle Niall, hands cupping his face as he licked into his mouth. 

Niall flicked his tongue against Louis’ in the way that  _ never  _ failed to make him moan, and tonight wasn’t any different. He felt a bit smug about it, yet mostly aroused so he canted his hips, pressing his hardening dick against Louis’ arse. 

“Fuck, Niall,” Louis breathed, reluctantly pulling back from the searing kiss. “Bedroom, yeah?” 

Niall nodded and helped steady his husband as he climbed off his lap, let him lead them towards the stairs, up to their bedroom. They weren’t even properly inside before Louis threw the door shut behind them and pushed Niall up against it, kissing him deeply as he pressed their bodies together. 

 

He wormed his hand between their bodies, fingers fumbling with the button of Niall’s trousers before he pulled the zipper down and squeezed his hard on through the soft cotton of his boxers. Niall let out a gasp, throwing his head back in pleasure as he felt his knees buckle. “Fuck me, yeah?” he asked breathily as he grabbed Louis’ wrist, stopping him from taking it any further in prevention of this being over too soon. 

“Hmmm,” Louis mumbled, biting his bottom lip in retaliation. “Yeah, fuck, I want that, yeah.” 

 

Both men made quick work of getting out of their clothes, throwing them in a haphazard heap on the bedroom floor before they hurried toward the bed, crashing into each other once more as they collapsed on the mattress.

Niall landed on his back, pulled Louis on top of him and tried to move them further on the bed until his head hit his pillow. He’d lost all sense of time and shivered when Louis pressed a cold wet finger against his rim, unaware that his husband had retrieved their bottle of lube while they were still kissing and stroking each other. He canted his hips a bit, pushing up against Louis’ finger while their cocks rubbed against each other, already slightly slick with sweat and precome alike. 

 

Louis teased, rubbing his finger around his rim, spreading the lube thoroughly while never pushing in further than a couple of millimeters. Niall loved having sex with Louis. They both knew what the other liked after years of being together, and there had never been any taboo on talking about it or asking to try something new. So yeah, it was always great and Niall could almost tell exactly when Louis was going to press inside, yet he still arched his back at the intrusion, pleasure already too much.

“I love you,” he heard Louis mumble as he moved his finger, slowly fucking him as he opened him up. 

“Love you too,” he replied, almost automatically, followed by “come on, want more.”

Louis obliged, giving him two and soon after three fingers, speeding up a bit as he scissored them, now purposefully prepping him for what was about to come. 

 

Niall squeezed his eyes shut when Louis finally pushed in. Not because it hurt, but because he wanted to remember how he felt. How making love to Louis felt. A tear escaped from his eyes when he opened them again, and he saw tears brimming Louis’ eyes as well, but they both knew better than mentioning it. 

“I’ll miss you,” Louis finally brought out between a low grunt and a long moan as he kept moving his hips in the languid, deep rhythm he’d established. It could easily be taken to be about Niall’s trip to Ireland, but somehow, they both knew that it wasn’t. 

“I’ll miss you too,” Niall replied solemnly, splaying his hands over the curve of Louis’ arse to push him in deeper.

They knew this was their last time together, even if Niall hadn’t officially made any decision, it felt final. 

Niall felt his release building in his stomach as slowly as Louis was fucking him, slowly but surely and irreversible. His hands moved to Louis shoulders, nails leaving marks as he pulled Louis into another searing kiss, his body shaking with his release. It didn’t take long for Louis to follow suit, collapsing on top of Niall as he came inside him with a pained shout. Their kiss tasted salty and they both refused to let go of each other to go and clean up, despite knowing they’d wake up feeling sticky, only putting a towel underneath them to at least pretend the sheets were dry and clean. 

  
  


Louis woke up from Niall’s alarm hours later but pretended to be asleep when Niall pulled out of his embrace, leaving him with his back to the door. He never replied when Niall quietly said goodbye, voice shot with tears, and waited until he heard the front door slam before letting his own sobs escape. 

 

***

 

Six days later, he received a call from Niall while he was on his way to work.

“My flight arrives tonight, can we talk?” was all he said. 

Louis didn’t need to talk, he knew what Niall was going to say, but he agreed nevertheless.

He even managed a smile when they hugged goodbye later that night, after Niall told him he had been right, he wasn’t in love with Louis anymore. He wasn’t going to jump into a new relationship right now, but staying in this one didn’t feel right either. He’d come and get the most important things he needed from their flat on Monday, when Louis was at work, and he’d stay with his cousin for now. 

It hurt, of course, but he knew this was what would make Niall happy in the end, and that was what counted the most. 


	6. chapter five

It was warm. Summer finally in full swing, and Louis finally adjusted to the way his flat was now half empty with all of Niall’s stuff gone. It had been three months and despite everything, he was doing fine. Of course he had imagined married life differently, and of course he had dreamed himself a future with Niall, but he’d accepted that that wasn’t going to happen. Now he actually hoped that him and Niall could be friends again, someday, though he wasn’t sure how to initiate any contact. 

  
  


He’d just walked out of his office building, yearning for a bit of sun on his skin after a horrifying morning at work and was on his way to the lunch bar around the corner. They were actually located in a small park and he was convinced it was the best place in all of London to have lunch, especially since he usually had an early lunch, before the best spots were taken and the best sandwiches gone. 

He was almost there, eyes trained on a table near the edge of the terrace he wanted to claim when he walked straight into another man who had stopped in the middle of the path. 

“Shit! Sorry mate, I just. - Louis?!”

Well, that solved the contact initiating-problem.

“Niall! Hi! How are you?” he replied, too baffled to even bother trying to smile.

“I’m - I’m alright. Yeah. You?” Niall told him hesitantly.

“I’m okay.” Louis felt his lips curl up slightly in a small smile without even having to force them. It was good to see Niall, he noticed.

“Yeah? Good, that’s… I’m glad, Lou.” Niall smiled back, genuine concern lacing his features as he hesitantly put his hand on Louis’ arm. “Hey, you weren’t on your way to get lunch there, were you?”

“Uhm, yeah, I was actually, you too?” He chuckled when Niall nodded sheepishly. It was probably bound to happen, with them working only two blocks apart. “I don’t mind if you join me,” he decided to say, not wanting to push Niall into joining him, yet letting him know that he was welcome to.

The blond displayed his characteristic grin and nodded, joining his ex-husband for the last part of the walk to the café. 

 

An hour and a half later, Louis grudgingly admitted that he’d extended his lunch break as long as he possibly could, having to go back to the office for a conference call with the US in a bit.

“I didn’t even realise it was this late,” Niall admitted. “I should go as well. It was good seeing you, Lou, really.”

“Same, Ni. Say hi to Ed and Ellie from me tonight, will ya?”

“Oh. Uhm. Well. We’re uhm. Ed and I, we’re not together or anything.”

“You’re not?” Louis was taken aback at the news.

“No, I just… I didn’t want to jump into a new relationship head first. We actually don’t see each other all that often, with Ed working a lot and I’m living with Bressie now, so there’s not much room to play guitar there.”

“Oh.” Louis wanted to say more but Niall’s cellphone started ringing and he simply smiled at the face he pulled, indicating he had to pick up. He raised his hand in goodbye and walked back to his office, deep in thought about what Niall had just told him.

 

Three days later, the weather having returned to the usual London drizzle, Louis had decided he had to do  _ something _ . He hadn’t given up his marriage with Niall for him to be alone again when he was clearly in love with another man, who obviously loved him too. It was as if the entire world could see, but not them. Bloody idiots. 

Once he got off the tube, it was only a short walk before he found himself on his destination, the doorbell chiming when he pushed inside. The store was quite busy for a Saturday in July and Louis could see three workers helping people choose an instrument or some accessories, deciding to look around for a bit until it got calmer. He was running his hand over the keyboard of a particularly beautiful piano when one of the guys manning the store came to find him.

“Hello sir, how can I help you?”

Louis was startled out of his thoughts by the friendly man approaching him.

“Oh! Hi. Uhm, I was actually looking for Ed, I don’t know if he’s in?”

“Ed? Oh, no he lives in Sweden now, I believe, I’m not sure if he’ll be back anytime soon.”

“He moved to Sweden?” Louis proclaimed loudly, eyes wide in surprise. “Wow, talk about drastic measures.”

“Hold on, please,” the guy told him, apparently taken aback by Louis’ surprise. ‘I’m going to check with someone else, I’m quite new here, so maybe I misinterpreted the things I heard.”

Louis nodded and turned back to the dark red piano in front of him, playing a quick song to see if it sounded as good as it looked.

 

“Hello, I’m Greg, I hear you were looking for Ed? Maybe there’s something we can do to help you instead”

“Uhm, yeah. Hi, I’m Louis. Louis Tomlinson. Ed’s actually a friend, of sorts. I just wanted to talk to him, but your colleague said he’s moved to Sweden?” 

Confusion must’ve been written on his face, as the other man snorted out a laugh.

“That’s what Jason told you? Oh god, no wonder you look so distressed. He’s gone to Sweden to drop off Ellie and made use of his time there by visiting some recording studio or something. He’s actually flying back on Wednesday.”

“Oh! Thank god, I honestly thought he’d packed his stuff and moved over there. That would’ve been a difficult situation to work with. A holiday sounds more like it.”

“Yeah, Ellie’s mother lives over there, she goes to see her every summer.”

“Right, I remember Niall telling me that.”

“You know Niall?” Greg asked, curiosity taking over his features.

“I’m Niall’s ex-husband,” Louis smiled, somewhat endeared that Ed had apparently talked about Niall at work.

“Oh.  _ Oh! _ Holy shit. Wait.  _ Ex- _ husband?”

Louis chuckled. “Long story mate, I’ll leave it to Ed to tell you all about it after I’ve spoken to him.” 

Greg gave him a lopsided grin. “Alright then. He’s flying from Göteborg, might help you find out what time he’s arriving,” he winked and gave him a small wave when Louis walked back out of the shop, already checking his google calendar to find out if taking the day off on Wednesday was actually an option. 

 

***

 

Perhaps he should’ve checked the flight hours before taking the day off, because now he had an entire day with nothing to do before he had to get to the airport at 8pm. An entire day to imagine the conversation he was about to have with Ed, and an entire day to wonder if he was really going crazy. He even called his mum around lunchtime to ask her that but luckily she agreed with him. He and Niall hadn’t separated for nothing, Ed and him just needed a little push. 

Finally,  _ finally _ it was time to leave for the airport, having opted to take his car, even if the roads were still busy and the parking fees ridiculous. He pulled on a big, fluffy hoody to offer comfort and protection from the rain that was pelting down and got into the elevator to take him to the garage. 

 

***

 

Even if the flight wasn’t  _ that _ long, Ed had still spent most of his day travelling back home. Only one reason he was glad Keira was bringing Ellie back home so he didn’t have to fly back and forth yet again. He was bone tired and honestly couldn’t wait until he could grab his luggage and head out of the airport. He should probably take the train back to London, think of his poor bank account that wasn’t looking too good what with his time off this month, but he was seriously considering taking a cab straight home, expense be damned. 

 

After what seemed an hour, he finally spotted his bright orange suitcase coming down the conveyer belt and pushed his way through the small crowd to get it, relieved that he could finally get out of the stuffy airconditioned airport and head home. 

Even if the flat would feel empty without Ellie. 

As soon as he walked through the glass doors, he spotted a cardboard sign with his name on it. Rolling his eyes, he mentally made a note to thank Greg to send someone to get him and made his way to the other side of the barriers where a man in a white hoodie was waiting for him. 

 

“Hello! I guess Greg sent you, are you one of the new employees for the summer?” he asked, dumping his suitcase once more as he offered the man a hand to shake. “Louis!?”

The man threw off his hood and offered a hand to grab one of his bags, a sheepish smile on his face.

“Hey. I- I wanted to see you.”

Ed frowned. “Okay, yes. Hello.”

“I’ve got my car though, so if you wanted, I could drop you off at home and we can talk there?”

“Oh god,” Ed sighed. “I can’t thank you enough for saving me from taking the train or a taxi.”

Louis grinned as he turned to steer them out of the arrivals hall onto the parking lot, looking back to make sure Ed was still behind him every couple of minutes.

 

Ed sat watching Louis as he drove them back into the city, he looked a bit tense but his focus seemed to be entirely with traffic, cursing every now and then when another driver did something Louis considered stupid. 

He’d typed in his address into the car’s GPS system and was grateful he’d made the effort to clean up before they left the flat the week before, knowing that at least he wouldn’t have to let Louis into a messy flat with clothes strewn everywhere and toys scattered around the living room floor. 

He even managed to find a bottle of coke to offer as they made themselves comfortable on the couch.

“Since you came to pick me up from the airport, I’m guessing you’re not mad at me?” Ed asked, suitcase abandoned in the hallway and a window cracked open to air the room a bit, despite the rain still pelting down outside.

It was kind of calming, the sound of the rain falling on the street below them, gave him something to focus on while he watched Louis bite his lip.

 

“I’m not mad, no,” he started finally. “I just… How much did you catch from what happened between Niall and me?”

“Uhm, Niall told me you guys separated, he lives with his cousin now, which is why we haven’t seen much of each other.”

“Yeah, that, and because he’s scared.”

“Scared?”

Louis smiled wistfully. “Niall and I got a divorce because he didn’t love me anymore. He needed to fall in love with someone else to realise that. I’d thought he’d have made work of that new relationship already, but I ran into him last week and while he’s reasonably happy, he’s single and he shouldn’t be. I don’t want to live with the knowledge I got a divorce to allow Niall to be happier with someone else, while his fear is preventing him from it.”

Ed felt like the frown wasn’t going to leave his face anytime soon. “What are you saying exactly?”

“Do you love him?” Louis asked him instead of offering an answer.

Ed felt a flush flooding his skin up to the tips of his ears but somehow struggled to bring out a coherent reply.

“Do you love Niall?” Louis asked him again, and he couldn’t help his dumb nodding this time. “Then please, do something about it and go after him. He loves you too, I know him well enough to be sure of it, but he’s scared.”

“Scared of what?” His voice sounded like it hadn’t been used for ages. 

Louis shrugged. “Ask him. If I would have to make a guess, I’d say he’s scared of making the same mistake again, or misinterpreting your signals, or that you'll eventually break up and he’ll still lack his happy ever after, even after a divorce and a new relationship.” He drained the last bit of soda from his glass. “Niall’s always been a bit of a perfectionist, which makes him anxious. He needs someone to ground him every now and then, and I’m sure you’ll do good.”

 

Ed watched as Louis gets up, fishing his keys out of his pocket and twirling them around his fingers. “Good luck Ed, take care of him, and make my boy happy, yeah?”

He sat on the couch for a long time after that, wondering how much strength it must’ve cost Louis to come find him and tell him to pursue the relationship that cost him his own marriage. 


	7. Chapter 6

Nervous was an understatement for the way he felt as he sat down on the curb in front of the tall building. London’s financial district wasn’t exactly Ed’s usual habitat, and he was a bit impressed by the men in pressed suits that kept walking by. It was strange to imagine Niall working in the middle of all this, even if he knew that his company had only rented half a floor in one of the buildings here because it was the easiest solution for their small office.

It wasn’t long before he was shaken out of his thoughts, or his speech-rehearsal to be accurate, by the horde of men flooding out of the door, shouting their goodbyes as they split up to the various tube stations and bus stops. Every now and then, another wave of people came past but it took a while before he recognised Niall’s raucous laughter as he clapped the frail girl next to him on the shoulder and briefly kissed her cheek.

Ed hurried to stand up, eyes moving quickly to find out which way Niall was going to walk and going in the same direction.

“Hi,” he finally spoke as he fell into step with the blond man. Almost brown now, the blond dye having mostly grown out.

“Ed!” Niall stopped dead in his tracks, giving him a once over that made his skin flush as if he was a 14-year old asking his boyfriend to prom.

“Go out with me?” he blurted, his entire rehearsed speech forgotten as soon as he laid eyes on Niall after months without seeing him much. People kept bumping against them in their hurry to get home, but all Ed could see was Niall, and it seemed like it was mostly the same for the other man.

“Sorry?”

He sighed and looked around for a gap between the throngs of people to pull Niall aside, have him lean against the wall so they could at least talk in a slightly calmer place.

“I- I miss you, Ni. I hate that we’ve hardly seen each other lately. I miss you and I- I’d like giving  _ us _ a chance. I know it might sound weird after so long but I didn’t want to be a home wrecker or a vulture so I buried my feelings but they never went away. So, would you please go out with me?”

Niall stood leaning against a gray building, bottom lip pulled between his teeth as he locked eyes with Ed. “Like, on a date?”

Ed nodded solemnly, relief flooding him when Niall smiled and nodded.

“Okay, yeah. Let’s do this.”

He surged forward and wrapped Niall in a hug, pulling him infinitely close as he buried his face into the younger man’s neck, inhaling the scent he’d missed so much without even realising it.

“Dinner tomorrow okay?” he asked as they both pulled back.

“Uhm, or tonight?” Niall hesitantly asked. “I feel like we’ve already wasted too much time.”

“If you don’t mind me being dressed like this, then yeah, tonight’s fine.”

“I like your clothes just fine! There is honestly no need to dress up for me, Ed.”

Ed grinned at him. “I’m guessing you’re alright with a pub dinner then?”

“More than, come on.”

 

Niall wasn’t sure what he had expected, but their first date had felt as natural as every other pub night, except there was a bit more touching involved. Ed had blushed beautifully when Niall hooked his foot behind Ed’s ankle and they’d bumped knees more often than not. Neither of them were the type to be kissing the entire evening, mostly it was just talking and catching up and a lot of banter, but it was nice. They were both slightly inebriated when Ed walked Niall home, pressing him up against the wall of letterboxes in the grimy hallway as he kissed him deeply, but not enough to be uncertain about how much they both wanted this. 

 

Ed ran his thumb over the slight stubble on Niall’s cheek, appreciating the view and smiling slyly at how large his pupils had grown.

“I like this look on you,” he admitted in a soft mumble, following the words with a sloppy brush of their lips. “Makes me want to wreck you even more.”

“Yeah?” Niall mumbled. “Too bad I don’t put out on the first date then, Sheeran,” he smirked, kissing him deeply once more before pushing him away with two hands on his chest. “Should really get upstairs and go to bed. Work’s going to kill me tomorrow.”

“Early morning?”

“Hmmm. Early shift, yeah. You working the shop?”

“Ten to closing.”

Niall’s eyes twinkled at an idea but he refused to say anything about it, just kissed Ed briefly one last time before pushing him out the front door, running upstairs with a big smile on his face.

 

Even if his day had been horrendous, having to take incoming calls for seven consecutive hours, listening to people complaining about software he didn’t develop but just had to try and fix for them, he was still whistling on his way to the tube. The night had been too short but he’d slept like a baby and he felt like a teenager in love for the very first time. It was good, really good to be able to feel like this without the guilt gnawing away at him whenever he thought of Ed and he was grateful once more that his divorce from Louis had been a rather friendly affair. 

There was only one customer in the shop when he pushed the door open and seeing Ed’s face light up when he spotted him was worth ignoring the prying messages he’d been getting constantly since last night. He busied himself with looking around, plucking the strings of some of the guitars on display as he patiently waited for Ed to finish, biting his lip at how hot he was, acting all professional while selling a bass guitar.

 

He was so engulfed in his own thoughts that he hardly even noticed the man had left the shop, jumping as Ed crowded his space.

“Hi,” he muttered, kissing him drily as he pulled Niall closer to his chest. “What a nice surprise.”

Niall grinned, kissing him once more as he wrapped his arms around Ed’s neck. “Was hoping it would be.” Another kiss. “Do you mind if I hang around until you get off?”

Ed shook his head, though he looked a bit remorseful when he admitted he had a bunch of paperwork waiting for him in the office.

“That’s alright, I’ve brought the new Rolling Stone for me to read. Figured we could get take away after?”

 

It went like that for the rest of the week before Ellie came back from Sweden. They spent every night together, enjoying how they felt now they could finally admit it and act on it, though neither of them initiated a talk about how to define them. To be honest, it didn’t really feel necessary either.

Of course Niall understood that Ellie got the priority once she was back. She was still on summer break from school so whenever Ed wasn’t working, he wanted to spend time with her. Really, it wasn’t that he understood, and it wasn’t that he didn’t think it was a good thing either. It was just that, with seeing each other only once every couple of days, doubt wiggled its way into Niall’s brain.

 

They’d seen each other two days ago when Ed had played at a pub and that had been good as ever. They’d talked and laughed and got slightly drunk and kissed a bit while smiling brightly. Just a regular night for the two of them, really. But tonight he was home alone, though after almost four months of staying with Bressie, the small flat still didn’t quite feel like home. He’d always planned to look out for a flat of his own, but he just hadn’t found the time and courage to do so yet. The TV was on but there wasn’t anything on that could capture his attention for longer than a couple of minutes, found himself drawn back to his thoughts again and again.

His phone burned in his pocket, a cute text from Ed waiting for his reply, but he couldn’t find the right words. Should he have waited? Shouldn’t he be single for a bit before getting into another relationship? Was this - starting a relationship with Ed - a mistake? Was it too soon? Wasn’t he doing it for the wrong reasons?

He pried his phone out of his pocket and found himself bypassing the conversation with Ed to thumb open an older one. 

 

_ Are you home? _

 

It took only thirty seconds for a reply to buzz on the arm of the couch.

 

_ Yeah. Something wrong? _

 

_ Wanted to talk, if that’s alright. _

 

_ Sure. Beer’s cold ;) _

 

The way there was familiar, almost achingly so, and he found himself wondering for the first time in months if he had made a mistake. The feeling disappeared as soon as entered the flat through the door that was left open for him after he’d rang the downstairs doorbell.

 

“I’m in the kitchen!” Louis called when he heard the front door click shut, soon emerging from it with two bottles of beer in hand, bare feet slapping on the hardwood floor. “Hi,” he smiled warmly, handing a bottle to Niall and gesturing towards the couch for them to sit down.

He muttered a thank you and glanced around the living room. The interior had been changed quite a lot and he felt taken aback by that realisation, though it was definitely logical that things had changed around the house. Niall had taken half of their furniture, most of it now stacked precariously in a storage box, so it should’ve been predictable that the living room looked different now.

Their large wooden table had been replaced by one made in black metal and a glass surface, sleek black chairs around it and the piano got itself a much more prominent place in the room. 

The grey pillows of the couch at least still felt familiar when he sunk down on them and he imagined he could still feel the dip where his bum fit right in. 

 

“What’s wrong?” Louis questioned gently when they’d been sitting in silence for a couple of minutes, Niall feeling a bit overwhelmed by being in his old home that didn’t really feel like it anymore.

“I- I,” he sighed. “Ed and I, we’re… dating? I guess? At least we’ve been spending a lot of time together and we both liked it a lot and it felt good to do something with those feelings we both have.”

“Cheers,” Louis smiled, looking genuinely happy for them and Niall felt his heart sink.

“Is it good, though? I mean, we’ve only been separated for a couple of months, and like… isn’t this some kind of rebound relationship? Isn’t it too soon to start over with someone new?”

“Oh Ni,” Louis murmured, shuffling closer on the couch. “Even if we’ve only been divorced for a few months, the reason we had our divorce in the first place was because you fell out of love with me and  _ in _ love with Ed. I was honestly surprised to find you two hadn’t started dating a lot sooner. He loves you Niall.” He rubbed his thumb over Niall’s bad knee. “And you love him. So no, I don’t believe for a second that Ed is just a rebound for you. The two of you are good together, so go for it.”

Niall looked up at him and smiled. “This is a bit weird though, isn’t it?”

“Me telling you to go and shag another guy?” Louis smirked. “Meh, I guess, but we’re nothing if not weird.”

“Oi! We haven’t even… well… not yet at least,” he grinned.

They spent another half an hour talking some more, catching up on their families and mutual friends, until Louis told him to stop fidgeting and get his boy, Niall springing up from the couch and leaving him with a kiss to the top of his head and a “Thanks, babe.”

 

***

Ed felt a bit uneasy as he was setting up his stuff for the set he was playing at the pub he used to work at before he suddenly co-owned a music shop. Not exactly unhappy, because he was still buzzing with happiness for having Ellie back at home, and things with Niall had been going  _ really _ well before, but yeah, uneasy. Because, even if things with Niall had been good before, it had been two days since he’d last heard from him and that was a bit strange to say the least. Even if he was busy at work he usually responded to text messages within a couple of hours but now he hadn’t replied for two entire days. Weird.

But still, Ed wasn’t one to intrude or push if he didn’t feel like there was a reason to, and right now he thought it would be best to wait until Niall initiated contact once more. 

 

Once content with the short sound check, he drank the beer he was offered by the bartender and waited until there was a bit of a crowd before he got on stage. “Hi, my name’s Ed and I’m going to play a couple of songs for you. Sing and clap along if you like it, please don’t throw anything at me if you don’t.”

He threw a small smile into the audience and started playing the first song. Usually he played about ten songs he could probably play while asleep by now, but every now and then he liked to add something a little bit different. A couple of days ago, while scrolling down his facebook in lack of something useful to do, he’d come across a slowed down version of Jolene and ever since he had been itching to try it out, so he’d put it halfway through his setlist and hoped today’s audience would like it as much as he did.

 

Three songs in, he felt he needed something to pick him up again. The atmosphere in the pub was more than alright, but he noticed he kept looking for a familiar face, and not being able to find it made his heart sink a little bit with every glance.

 

“And now something a little different. Some of you might have seen the video of this appear on your Facebook’s wall like I did. I liked it and wanted to do my own version of it.”

 

***

 

“Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolee-eeheene. Please don’t take him just because you can,” Ed crooned on stage when Niall had finally gathered the courage to push the door to the pub open. People near the entrance were humming along with Ed’s voice, muttering the lyrics while they nodded appreciatively. 

Niall smiled, endeared by the way Ed had his eyes closed while singing and strumming the chords. 

When he was nearing the end of the song, his voice cracked, causing him to open his eyes while he finished. 

“Sorry for that, it hit a bit closer to home than I realised before I started it. Can’t have been easy for Jolene either, I believe.”

Niall swallowed at that, noticing the way Ed’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes and how his hands were slightly shaking as he started the next song.

A glance towards the bar made his eyes light up with an idea, starting to push his way through the crowd as he muttered “pardon, excuse me, sorry” while elbowing others out of the way. 

“Hey! Niall, long time no see mate,” Jeff greeted him as soon as he reached the bar, abandoning several other patrons who were in line before him, but Niall couldn’t care less. 

“Jeff. The usual, please. And some of those cardboard coasters and a pen, if you have one?”

The bartender shot him a curious look but didn’t push as he handed Niall what he had asked, collecting the coins he’d dropped on the surface of the bar in one swift movement.

He pushed himself through the crowd once more until he was right in front of the small stage, scribbling his message on the back of some coasters. 

Ed was apparently almost at the end of his setlist, babbling a bit about the last song he was going to play, when he noticed Niall. A tentative smile formed on his face as he started strumming, closing his eyes once more to be able to focus on the song. He only looked at Niall when the song was done, the chorus dying out as his fingers danced on the snares. 

 

Niall smiled and swallowed the lump that had suddenly appeared in his throat as he held up the first coaster, fumbling in between the different ones to get them up. 

YOU ARE NOT

JOLENE

I CHOSE YOU

YOU MADE ME FEEL

YOUR LOVE

HAHA PUN INTENDED

ED SHEERAN

I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU

BOYFRIENDS?

PLEASE?

 

He kept staring Ed in the eye, only daring to blink when Ed let out a wet chuckle. 

“I was Ed Sheeran, guys, if you’ll excuse me now, I’m gonna kiss my boyfriend for a bit.”


	8. Epilogue

“Is it dairy-free?” Ellie asked him teasingly as he put her strawberry milk in front of her.

“One time,” he huffed. “I gave you regular milk one time, almost two years ago now. Let it go already!” There was a playful lilt to his voice though, and he smiled as Ellie giggled at his antics. “Besides, there hasn’t been a drop of dairy in this house ever since I moved in, and you know that Ellie-bellie.” He poked her nose and turned around to get the rest of her breakfast ready, throwing a few apples in the picnic basket that was standing on the counter next to him.

 

It  _ had  _ been his worst nightmare though, that day. He’d just moved into his new flat, a block away from Ed and Ellie’s when Ed had asked him to watch Ellie for a couple of hours while he worked. They’d been to the playground around the corner and were supposed to warm up for a bit with hot chocolate, and he’d simply forgotten about Ellie’s allergy. Luckily it wasn’t a life threatening kind of allergy, more like the “Niall, was that cow’s milk? My throat is itchy and I’m getting these red spots all over my skin”-kind, but it was still scary. An Uber had taken them to hospital while he called Ed, and both the paediatrician and Ed had chuckled at his panic, but luckily it had been okay and the entire story turned into a joke over time.

Despite that, Niall still insisted they wouldn’t buy anything Ellie couldn’t have ever since he moved in with them when his lease was up, almost a year ago now.

 

“Morning, monsters” Ed greeted them with a yawn, shuffling out of their bedroom in his pyjama pants and a worn T-shirt, looking so incredibly soft. Niall still wasn’t used to the idea that he was allowed to see him that way.

“Morning dad,” Ellie chirped, pulling a disgusted face when Ed leaned in to kiss her on top of her head, even adding sound effects when him and Niall shared a soft peck.

“Happy anniversary,” he muttered, ignoring his daughter skillfully as they were both used to her going through the ‘kissing is disgusting’-fase for a while now.

“You too, boyfriend,” Niall winked, nosing his neck as he offered a one armed hug.

“Fiancé,” Elly corrected. As disgusted she was by their displays of affection, as enthusiastic she was about their upcoming winter-wedding. Including her in a fancy dress, of course. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry, future stepdaughter,” he teased, offering her a bowl of cereal.

“As long as you don’t expect me to call you papa, it’s fine,” she grinned, digging in as if she’d been starved for weeks.

 

“Louis’ still coming, right?” Ed asked as the three of them walked the short distance from the tube station to the park. 

“Yeah, he said he’d wait for us at the entrance, since he can’t go in without a kid.” Niall nodded, whistling behind Ellie when she ran off too far. 

“I’m not a dog Ni-Ni,” she scoffed as she stood waiting for them at the red light.

“You’re not, but you still listen to my whistle, you’re such a good girl,” Niall smirked, ruffling her hair. “Are you ready to meet Louis’ boyfriend?”

“Oh!” Ed exclaimed. “He’s finally bringing him along?”

“Yup. Last rehearsal before they drive up north to meet the Tomlinsons.”

“Whoa.”

“Uhu, it’s mental, isn’t it. ‘Honey, before you meet my mum, I’d like you to meet my ex-husband and his new family’.”

“You’re still his best friend Ni.”

“Yeah, I know that, just imagine how Aiden must feel about this.”

Both men were pulled out of their conversation by Ellie screaming Louis’ name as she ran towards him, cackling when he threw her up in the air. 

 

Next to Louis stood a nervous looking, tall man with dark hair and a pretty smile matching Louis’. 

Ellie had just been put back on her feet when Ed and Niall arrived, smirking at the blush Louis was sporting as he introduced them. “Aiden, Niall and Ed, Niall and Ed, meet Aiden.”

They shook hands and exchanged pleasantries while they were let into the playground Ellie had come to love every since Louis had taken her there for the first time. 

 

Once everyone was done eating lunch, Ellie seduced Aiden and Ed into following her around the playground while Niall and Louis were left behind with all of their stuff.

“Are you happy?” Niall asked as he leaned back, turning his face to Louis who laid back on a blanked.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Incredibly so, to be honest.”

“Good. Bring him to the wedding, yeah, I’m sure we both remember how much of a disastrous best man single Harry was at ours.”

Louis chuckled along at the memory, keeping quiet afterwards as they watched their partners chase after Ellie.

“Were you nervous, you know, about introducing your boyfriend to your ex-husband?”

“I guess, yeah,” Louis smirked. “Though he probably already went through the worst when he met Harry and Nick at the pub when we only just started dating.”

“Oh god, I wish I was there,” Niall teased, ducking away from Louis’ slap. “I’m really happy you’re happy though, you know?”

“Thanks. And likewise.”

“Thanks. Oh and uhm, now that you’re here. Would you mind watching Ellie when Ed and I are called to the hospital when her little brother is being born?”

“Say what?” Louis turned around harshly, probably causing himself a neck injury.

“We uhm, found a surrogate and we’re having a boy in January?”

“Niall fucking Horan, how’s that a way to tell me that?” Louis scolded, punching Niall in the arm. “Yes though, of course I’ll mind Ellie. And congratulations, idiot, for getting hitched and becoming a dad in two months time.”

It had been a long time since Louis had succeeded in making Niall blush, but today he definitely did. But it was okay, more than okay, because even if their situation was a bit unusual, what really counted was that they were all happy at this point in their lives, and from now on, things would get even better. 


End file.
